Unwholesomely gloomy ( EDITTED )

I'm in the Twilight of my life,

fortune slowly dwindling away

The precarious fate held ceaselessly ahead of me, I wonder when this period of dismal will end. The recent events had me being chagrin deeply. I had no idea on how and what I could possibly do to change anything at all. It is beyond my control. I don't know when my surly sky will turn sunny again. Am I curmudgeons at all? I do not have a very good temper, I know that. But.. I doubt that I'm a difficult person to be with.. Right? I believed it's still tolerable and not that seriously bad.

I had been having weird dreams recently, nightmares that were etched in my mind even when I was awake. In mid-day, parts of it just came flashing past my mind. I wonder whether if it was a bad sign.
I dreamt of my Edward (if you get what I really mean), things happened that were not even close to reality. Yet again, seemed real. I could hardly distinguish the dream from my world to the outside world.

I was feeling so scared and helpless in my dream, he left me alone to fend for myself in an unknown area filled with darkness. Promises were broken, tears were shed. He never showed up for me again. I gone to places that I had never been before, saw people whom I never met before. It was so weird, but then again the dream seemed so real, I returned to the similar dream probably most of the other nights. Only that the situation changes every now and then. The intention is mutual.

Perhaps I am having much troubles right now, mostly circumstances that are beyond my control. That is why my mind is speculating so much over it, subconsciously it is trying to find a way out, to the root of the problem. Come what may, I'm irrefutably lost at the will of another. I guess I can only wait and pray for things to turn for the better, in times to come.. ( I hope.. )


I want to read Breaking dawn. My patience is running low, I can't wait any longer already!!!

P/S. I spotted this clip in Youtube acting out New Moon. It's damn hilarious and obviously for your info it's totally not even close to the story at all. It's just the funny version and just for laugh. HAHA, it's really cute.

I've embedded the twilight version and new moon version. They have so much more other different movie which you can really watch at how creative they are.

This is twilight.



This is New Moon.